1. Life is not fair and it never will be.

The last post I wrote was over a year ago and I had great plans to write all of the things I wanted Cater to know.  We got busy living our life and I wasted more time not teaching him all the lessons I wanted him to learn.  Don't get me wrong, I taught him many lessons over that time.  What I didn't do is put them down where I said I was going to.  I didn't write the lessons and give a reason for each.  If I would have, I would have been able to a better job of getting my point across.  What I learned a long time ago is you can only teach what first you understand.  I thought I understood everything I wanted him to know but all I really did was just write it down.  Do I understand them all now, no?  I hope that will come with time and more understanding as I am writing.  After reading through the list, it might be a little over the head of an 8 year old.  That is okay, he will have this when he is 9, 10, 11...

I also realized I have not told you anything about me.  I am 37, married and have two kids.  I'm sure you’re thinking, if you have two kids, why only Things I Want Carter to Know?  Truth is, when I look in the mirror at myself at 8, I see Carter.  Don't get me wrong, he is way better looking than I was.  He is a funnier and much smarter too.  I am not saying anything bad about myself, he is just better.  Where we are similar is how we handle things.  I want his life to be easier than mine; just as I'm sure my father wanted my life to be easier than his.  I'm sure I will have Things I Want Cameron to know too.  Most will be the same things but there will be differences.  When I am done with this I will get started on that project.

On to the first lesson:

1.    Life is not fair and it never will be.

I thought this is a great lesson to start with.  When this process first started in my mind this was where it came from.  I was yelling at Carter and he was complaining about fairness.  What I did next my father had done to me numerous times. I yelled back, "Life isn't fair".  By the way, you will learn by reading this, I yell a lot. 

What I was trying to say is fairness is not something that is given.  You don't get fair when you are born.  If you did, we would all be born poor or with silver spoons.  We would all be born white or black.  What I am saying is you are not born with fair and you don't die with fair.  You get what you get and the rest you make for yourself, except that which is given to you.  I want him to see he should always work harder to get what he wants not wait around for it.  Some things will be given to him and something won't.  Hey, "Life isn't fair."

 

How I am going to teach Carter

As of June 12th, 2011, I have 114 lessons I want to teach Carter.  As I continue to write this blog, I hope to add quite a few more.  My first goal was to have 150 but I feel as if I could get to over 200, as long as I continue to write them down as I go.  My idea is, I am going to try to write 2-3 times per week and teach the lesson with a story or an explanation.  I hope he enjoys reading this and I hope others will check in and maybe learn a lesson or two.

Why Carter needs to know

I was sitting at work today thinking of all of the things I wanted to teach my son one day.  It's not what I usually think of at work, but when it came into my mind, I couldn't get it out.  I started writing little things I wanted him to know.  Some were serious and some were funny.  What I realized was, most were things my father or grandfathers taught me. They were all lessons everyone has been taught but too few of us follow.  I wanted to make sure my son learned these things from me, not from others.  I hope Cater will be able look at these one day and see how much I cared about him and wanted him to be the man I know he can become.